Monday, July 31, 2006
It Has Come And Gone
The Trade Deadline.
Since I first came to understand what a trade deadline was I have hoped and prayed that my team - The Padres - would make some impactful move. Well, this year, just like the others, I have been overwhelmingly let down. When the clock struck noon our big move was trading some minor-league nobody for Todd Walker (a major league nobody). WOW! Our goal (the previously stated goal by GM Kevin Towers) was to find a power bat at Third Base. So, we got an 11 year veteran SECOND BASEMEN with 8 homeruns. I mean it makes sense, right? Oh, hold on - first you have to close your eyes real hard and then shoot yourself in the head (but you don't die, you live on as a grossly disfigured human who couldn't get a suicide attempt right) and then, and only then it will make sense. I warned all my loved ones that today I might be very depressed. When asked why I always give the same response: It's the trade deadline and I'm a Padre fan. People who don't even care about baseball somehow understand. Well, when you think about it, we are in first in a division of 4th place teams, so why would we need a major change? I mean come on! The platoon of Geoff Blum, Mark Bellhorn and now Todd Walker at Third will more than make up for the lack of effort by our front office. Meanwhile, the Fuckin' Dodgers* land Greg Maddux (someone who openly said he would like to come to San Diego) and Julio Lugo! True Lugo beats his wife and Maddux is looking more and more like his brother Mike Maddux everyday, but the Fuckin' Dodgers* are in last place!! Everyone knows they aren't gonna win the division, everyone knows they suck, but they STILL MADE A MOVE!!! Sometimes being a Padre fan is as exhausting as being crippled.
Well, we move on. Here's to another Second Half of mediocrity! Here's hopin' we make it into the playoffs with a 83-79 record this year! Here's to Todd Walker - the next Ryan Klesko!!
*The Fuckin' Dodgers is the official name of the franchise as told to me by Phil Gorney.
Since I first came to understand what a trade deadline was I have hoped and prayed that my team - The Padres - would make some impactful move. Well, this year, just like the others, I have been overwhelmingly let down. When the clock struck noon our big move was trading some minor-league nobody for Todd Walker (a major league nobody). WOW! Our goal (the previously stated goal by GM Kevin Towers) was to find a power bat at Third Base. So, we got an 11 year veteran SECOND BASEMEN with 8 homeruns. I mean it makes sense, right? Oh, hold on - first you have to close your eyes real hard and then shoot yourself in the head (but you don't die, you live on as a grossly disfigured human who couldn't get a suicide attempt right) and then, and only then it will make sense. I warned all my loved ones that today I might be very depressed. When asked why I always give the same response: It's the trade deadline and I'm a Padre fan. People who don't even care about baseball somehow understand. Well, when you think about it, we are in first in a division of 4th place teams, so why would we need a major change? I mean come on! The platoon of Geoff Blum, Mark Bellhorn and now Todd Walker at Third will more than make up for the lack of effort by our front office. Meanwhile, the Fuckin' Dodgers* land Greg Maddux (someone who openly said he would like to come to San Diego) and Julio Lugo! True Lugo beats his wife and Maddux is looking more and more like his brother Mike Maddux everyday, but the Fuckin' Dodgers* are in last place!! Everyone knows they aren't gonna win the division, everyone knows they suck, but they STILL MADE A MOVE!!! Sometimes being a Padre fan is as exhausting as being crippled.
Well, we move on. Here's to another Second Half of mediocrity! Here's hopin' we make it into the playoffs with a 83-79 record this year! Here's to Todd Walker - the next Ryan Klesko!!
*The Fuckin' Dodgers is the official name of the franchise as told to me by Phil Gorney.
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this once-a-month blogging schedule is bullshit. you guys are about to lose your right to snark.
-M to the K
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-M to the K
# posted by 
: 6:05 PM
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